May 13, 2009

I been feeling alot of negative energy this past week. Might be because I wanted to go on that damn cruise. So desperately, hell it was my fuckn idea in the first place. And my broke ass couldn't even go. Shits hella depressing. Might be because I am afraid of my possible bounced checks, or the fact my lights and gas might get cut off, or no wait maybe just maybe because I don't have shit to eat in the house..I don't know. But hey I guess I brought it on myself, by not putting my best foot forward and getting my shit together. So I have no one to blame. Have you ever been tired of being on the top of your game and then falling on your face over and over again?

"He" is in my same boat. Its funny how him and I are in the same frame of mind right around the same time. The saying great minds think alike, would be perfect for this section, if, we were thinking positive shit. But since we aren't. We'll just say I hope things turn up for the both of us. Because we each are sick and tired of the way we are living. I know I am. Tonight I will be going to make some changes. Because enough is enough. I want more for myself at this point in my life and its about time I get off my ass and get a lil bit of that extra piece of pie. Because it sure as the hell ain't coming to me. lol... Nothing comes to you with out you having to put in some work. I cant stand how the rich kids who grew up rich, always think shit comes easy and they don't have to work for it. Man I'm glad that I was brought up to appreciate everything. I will never let my kids take anything for granted, because nothing comes to you for free. Nothing. How do you find the right words to say to let someone you love know that everything will be ok when deep down you really aren't sure and you don't know all the answers?

I wish it was so much more I could do for "him" but since we are paddling in the same boat I have to just sit by and watch "him" struggle just as much as me. Its funny how fast you can have everything and then the next minute the shit gets taken away. So I say again never take anything for granted and always gotta plan for a rainy day, because what is here today might not be there tomorrow. How do you help someone else when you can barely help yourself?

I raised hell last night, and there are so many other things that we both have to be worrying about then this lil trivial shit I had on my mind. Such bigger fish to fry. No time for the lil petty shit. I have to keep my eye on the prize and stay focus and remember what's important and forget about what ain't. Because in the end as long as I have someone by my side and I am not alone. Then everything else don't even mean a damn thing...Right?

That's enough for now I just wanted to get my thoughts together and get that off my chest..

Till Next Time Readers,

Charel

Emotional - Carl Thomas