June 1, 2009

Alot on my mind this morning, from my sister leaving me AGAIN and me missing my lil cousin Chad's graduation/party. Then we have Henry and our "stuff", sometimes I feel like I don't matter to folk.

But today is all about Joshua. It just hit me that this is one of the biggest moments of his life next to getting married and having kids lol I would say that. Mom wont be there. We've done so much in our lives that she didn't get a chance to see, her baby boy, whom she had doubts about having at all, so much so, Joshua wasn't suppose to even grow up with us. But I guess you cant dwell on the past. I'm sure she is so proud of his ass. And glad she made the decision she did for him.

Man lol @ how different his life would have been if he grew up with whom he was "suppose" to live with lol. THANK GOD my mom couldn't go thru with it and changed her mind. It has been such a pleasure watching his bad ass grow up to whom he is today. Lol him and Evan gave me hell when they were younger.. Bad asses...But look at them now. All grown up and living their lives like lil adults.

Joshua is such a smart funny dude. He donut be in no drama, lol, and most of the time walks around with a blank stare or smart remark (lol rissa hates those remarks by the way). I wonder what be on that nigga mind lol. Who knows. Although some may not agree with my sisters "raising a child style", Joshua aint turn out that bad lol...I guess you get better with practice. lol..

All I know right now that my emotions are at a peak at 9am, because it just hit me that "mom wont be there" like really, the woman who gave him life, wont be able to See him fulfill his dreams and fears. It so closely reminds me of how I feel about my own life. Just like "I'm missing out", because "she's missing out", if you know what I mean.

I wonder how many tears we'll see lol (that reminds me bring lots of Kleenex). I know we'll need it. But all in all I can say today is going to be a good day, filled with memories of the past and lots of future goals being shared. He is headed in the right direction, he just has to stay on track. Lets hope he keeps up the good work. All he needs is a good support system and the proper tools. I got my camera ready for every single moment lol. I don't want to forget a thing.

Let's Go Knights!!


Till Next Time Readers,

~Charel